Future of April 2016

It's been what a week already?  Surprising, isn't it?  Anyway, this post is more about my plans for the month of April, though there might be a bit of a warm-up post as well....As they say though, April showers bring mayflowers.

So the first order of business is that in April we begin two events.  The first is Camp NaNoWriMo.  Do I plan to participate?  Yes.  What do I plan to work on?  I have yet to decide.  Still a little miffed that I can't use my own computer.  It's still out of commission thanks to that free Windows 10 upgrade last July.  I may restart an earlier project that went missing or continue the project from November.  Of course I might work on a whole different project as well.  We'll have to see what my muses decide on.

So back in October 2015 Writer's Digest Platform I'm fairly certain I mentioned that I follow Writer's Digest.  If I didn't, well, now I am.  Anyway, I must admit that I'm not a constant follower, so I don't know every event they promote nor am I aware of all their products and services and blogs.  That's actually a little depressing when I think about it.  Back to what I was typing originally, though.  Apparently it's time for their annual Poem-a-Day competition.  For more information on that go to their blog 2016 April PAD Challenge: Guidelines.  He even gave a few hints as to what may be asked for.

So here are my plans for these two events.  Since I try to post on Sundays, I'll attempt Camp NaNo updates in the mornings throughout the month.  My goal is 20,000 words.  Perhaps I'll meet that and maybe I'll even finish enough to work on the revising over the next few months.  If I end up working on a fanfiction piece, perhaps I'll get it done enough to put it up on a fanfiction site.  This means at least five posts.  A final post claiming either success or effort filled failure will be made on May 1.  For the Poem a Day Challenge I hope to post the poems from each week in a full post on Sunday evening.  If not the actual poem then at least give an idea of each poem posted or even links to where that poem is.  In fact, the original post gave practice links for three poems as a Wednesday Poem, which if you followed the previous link, I'm certain you managed to find.

The first past practice link given is to a "Don't Forget ___" poem.  All I can think of is Demi Lovato's song Don't Forget.  That admitted, I did check the post, and here's my attempt on said poem.

Don't Forget the Truth 

It's out there somewhere

Hiding around the bend

Retreating in our mind

So we might have 

A chance to defend

It's out there somewhere

Between naysayers and do-rights

Leaving breadcrumb trails 

And messages in the dark

It's right in front

Just beyond the end of our noses

So obvious bats can see it

So why is we lose it

Hide it, dismiss it, forget it?

Don't Forget the Truth

It's always there, just hidden

It's waiting to be found

To be discovered

To be uncovered

It's always been right there

Comforting us, abetting and aiding

Allowing us our delusions, 

Yet remaining unchanged

It's right between lies 

It's beyond our noses

It's been hidden in messages

Been left in breadcrumbs

Don't ever forget the truth is always there

So, what do you think?  I know it's a strange format, but it just seemed right.  Leave some feedback in the comments, I promise I don't mind.

The next is a Valentine poem.  He gives two options in the original post, but I found I wanted to do something slightly different.  I even checked some of the posts and didn't see this type anywhere, so here it goes.

Valentine's Day

Virtually everyone is aware of

Alienating singles this one day a year

Letting nothing slide in setting this one day up

Even if it's obvious they want

Nothing to do with it

Telling friends and family they're happy alone

Indicating they have other plans that require not being a couple

Not really lying as they go to mixers for singles

Even if they'd rather not hear of the holiday at all

Single is just a status that really works against for the one day

Daring couples find gifts worthy of their other halves

Always unsure if it was worth the money and the hunt

Yet certain when they made the plans that it be perfect

Single - the status they almost wish they had

So there's that one.  Again, feedback is always helpful.  I don't bite, at least not hard and only if asked, I swear.

The third practice is animal-influenced.  This is actually very loose in regards to interpretation.  I'm a little glad that I don't have my old works in front of me, because I'd be tempted to use one of them and that's not what this is about.  No what this is about is making new works of art, which is what I feel poems are.  There is no shortage of animal inspiration so here goes my attempt.

The Brindled Beagle Mix

Snoring Running great

she's just a bit overweight

my pet a canine

So, there's my last one.  These are my practices for what begins on April 1(I know to expect some pranks and jokes that day...I'm glad it's not a Sunday!)  If you decide to do either of these, let me know!  I'm always happy to meet others whose hobbies are the same as mine.  Anyway, have a wonderful Easter, or if you celebrate something else, enjoy it as well!

Have we Always Competed?

At a very young age, I learned that failure, while upsetting, was necessary.  It was learned quickly in a family of five children with five cousins on one side.  I learned to wear masks because of the competitions.  Even in a small town, I was always competing for any scrap of recognition.  Today, I've stopped caring about getting recognition.  I only want acknowledgement of the fact that yes, my words were heard.  I don't care if it's only by my dog.  Does this mean I don't make attempts to be acknowledged?  No, it just means I'm less likely to make a fuss if I don't get what I want or don't win.

There are things that I've ignored over the years that maybe I should have grit my teeth and stood fast about.  There are events that I did well at, but as soon as I started to gain attention for them, I, as I think back on those times, believe I may have self-sabotaged them.  I made it to regional spelling bee, but knowing we would never afford the expenses and feeling self-conscious about being on a stage in front of numerous people I didn't know, I screwed up on spelling the word frugal.  I was in sixth grade and the likelihood of me being in a spelling bee ever again was nonexistent.  Did I want to win?  Yes.  Why did I misspell frugal?  I had never seen the word before. (Never saw the word mutton but spelled it just fine.)  I had wished to locate where my family were sitting in the audience before I misspelled a word.  Yes, I had a very defeatist attitude, but it's only enforced by the number of times my family would ignore or discard things regarding myself.  I became accustomed to not getting what I wanted.

I became accustomed to being the scapegoat because everyone else would spin the story just right that I had no recourse but to accept my allotment.  I recently spent time with my mother and it was brought up, once again, an old event that maybe shouldn't have happened on my end, but a key piece of information was always left out by my siblings.  I'm always remembered to be the one chasing after my brother with a hammer.  I got in trouble for it.  When my mom brought it up this time, I couldn't hold back.  I raged in my short explosive burst of a rage about that every forgets that he was chasing one of my sister's first.  My mom had a quick reply.  "I was never told about this."  My response?  "Yeah, well everyone always forgets that part don't they?"  She was quiet until we were searching for the location we were heading to.

Am I bitter about that event?  Of course.  I get in trouble for chasing my brother with a hammer - never hit him with it, wasn't even indicating that I would.  When a few years later I'm hit in the back of the head by him with a cast iron skillet, there was no outcry.  Worry was almost nonexistent and once again I was reminded that I was at the bottom of the pole when it came to my place within the family.  Like I said, there has always got to be a loser.

We have a need to be needed and wanted, but also to prove ourselves as better or smarter than someone else.  It's not always grand but sometimes when I think back to my childhood, I wonder if things would have been different if I'd have lived with my father or actually gone through with my runaway attempts.  Trust me, I thought about escaping my family in numerous ways and even started to plan said escapes, but never went through.  I never truly tried.  In several ways I did a disservice to myself.  However, I could never forgive myself if I had somehow failed those who were truly counting on me.  The ones who needed me to fail so they could do better.  The ones who needed someone to play the sheltered, naive, smart kid who was the target for verbal bullying.  I went with the flow a lot, but there were times where I stopped and said not this time.

Sadly, those times were few and far between.  Now, I don't worry about upsetting so-called family, mine or my husband's (and yes, this pisses him off to no end.  Seriously, we avoid the two, TWO, extended family events that my family has, but you expect me to call off work for every single one of yours?  Nope, not happening.  That's a minimum three events.  And it's only been in the last couple of years, not the last five like he claimed.).  I stopped trying to figure out what would make them happy.  I think I may have stopped caring even.  I don't worry about holding myself back, at least not too much, but I'm still working on knowing who I am and what exactly I want.  What I'm still willing to put up with and what I need to speak up about not putting up with anymore.

What about you?  Were you a winner or scapegoat?  It's not bad letting others win, just make certain that you find something that matters to you that you don't budge on.  Let the things that don't matter to you slide, but hold fast to the things you feel strongly about.  It's not a bad idea to take a step back or to make a decision to make them work for things.  Family should be those who care about you, not those whom are constantly tearing you down with nothing to help build you back up.

Cooking, TV, and Writing

Maybe I should make this a bi-monthly blog?  I mean, I can't seem to keep up with making a weekly post right now.  I think of posts during the week, but never record them and then forget to post.  I mean sure, I redid the hamburger patties I mentioned in Microwave Cooking, Week 1.  They were definitely better with the horseradish included.  I must admit though that I might rather call them mini meatloafs.  (Yes, I am very aware that the previous sentence is likely grammatically incorrect and that there are likely to have been spelling mistakes.)  

I've been trying to catch up with The Voice, but not paying as much attention currently.  I keep seeing interesting things on my friend's Facebook wall from DWTS (Dancing with the Stars) and possible celebrities for it.  Sadly I need to actually look at who they are since I missed the GMA (Good Morning America) reveal.

Also, I've been working on a few different fanfictions and an original work that's part of a series that I have on my computer, but may have to redo almost all of that work thanks to that Windows 10 update back in, what was it, September of 2015?  Here's my advice: Do not get Windows 10 as an update.  If you want Windows 10, by a new computer with it already installed.  Well, I'm off to work some more on writing and getting some of my work straightened out.