For all who participated in Camp NaNoWriMo July 2015: Congrats on at least participating! If you met you're goal, like I did...Double CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! In my case, my goal was only 15K, and I only barely managed to hit the goal early on the final morning(like 1:30 a. m., talk about worrying! I managed over 5K in those final 2 days as I worked on a fanfiction that seemed to grip me at the moment.)
Now, today on Facebook in a friend's news feed she got a link to something called Personality Insights. She happened to share it with me and I decided to test it. First I used the latest chapter that I managed to type up for Camp NaNo. Then I tried a part from a different fanfiction that is sitting on my computer waiting for me to return to it. They both received the same analysis:
Now, this is the funny thing. The closest thing to artistic that I have is my writing. Other folks find other ways to vent when they get mad, but I tend to bottle it up because my brain runs rampant with ideas. I love all forms of art but feel that I'm not able to put what my brain presents into any artistic form. I have to find others who have managed to portray exactly what my imagination managed to create. Most times, when I find them, it's close enough that my brain accepts it as what my imagination was aiming for.
While I can and have been in charge of varying groups and used to not have any qualms about trying to take over, there was a memorable moment when I was child that I am still bitter over. We were put into groups that had to research the environments. I had grabbed my notebook, even back in grade school, I felt a need to take notes and have paper and pencil in hand at all times. No one else in the group had grabbed theirs and one of the others in our group wanting to take control over my notebook and pencil. I refused, obviously. We didn't do too well on the project because they couldn't put the essay/speaking portion into a feasible format of sentences. The first sentence I read was actually a run-on that was followed by a fragment. The entirety of the paragraph was about one individual fact, as well.
I felt the entirety of the project and what had occurred at the time was unfair. I resented my classmate trying to take my supplies and then not being able to actually put together a decent project. I resolved even then that my projects would be done to a level of competence that sat well with me, even if they were never appreciated.
I do try to be rather laid-back. Rushing all the time and not taking the time to enjoy life is annoying. In fact, that's part of what's been bothering me lately. I've got way to many things going on to just take a walk and relax while watching the clouds.
I do like helping others, though. I like to cook for large groups and if it were easier for me to help others, I would easily be volunteering. I will freely admit to advocating both recycling and conservation efforts before I turned five. I tried to help others, but when your voice gets overlooked and you can't seem to find support, you give up, or at least I did.
As for the last sentence...I gave up doing anything for myself a long time ago. Kind of hard to be able to freely enjoy life when you have four siblings that are more boisterous than you.
I will admit that while I like a bit of socializing, I'm just as happy disappearing for years at a time.
Next I used a portion of an original fiction piece that I had started working on way back in high school. It's analysis went as follows:
The only difference was the being hard to embarrass and the self-confidence. It's not that I'm hard to embarrass or mostly self-confident. It's more that I read so much that in the realm of words, things were completely different than real-life. I was able to convince myself that what claimed I was and wanted was truly me and my likes and dislikes. It no longer is true. I am hard to embarrass because most people try to with sexual innuendos which I freely bandied with my friends and even now banter with my husband. I am now self-confident in the fact that if someone doesn't like who I am, they can disappear from my life or learn to deal with it. It's not on me that you can't interact with me in a way that makes you happy.
After that I decided to analyze my first blog post from Jun 1, 2014:
Compulsive? Yes, I am. Sentimental? Most definitely have those moments even if I'm only 28. Content with where I am? Yes, and wish others would realize that as well. Empathetic? I don't know. Unconcerned with independence? I like having choices. Yes, I'd rather be as one of my neighbors put it a "domestic engineer" or rather a housewife, but the world isn't giving me that option at the moment. Do I want to be told what to do? No. Do I like knowing what the expectations for me by others are? Perhaps in certain areas of my life, but unconcerned with independence? Not bloody likely(great, been reading too many Harry Potter fanfics again!)
I also had the blog post for the LANZ campaign analyzed as it was the last post before this one:
Yes, I am completely satisfied with who I am, even if I still couldn't explain it to others. I only think through some of my decisions before making them. Most of the time I think it through after I've already made it. What does a "sense of connectedness" even mean? I can't comment for or against something I just don't understand.
Finally, I decided to analyze this post:
Definitely have a hard time sticking with difficult tasks for long periods of time. It's why I have a hard time at winning NaNoWriMo and so few of my stories are actually completed!
When it comes to traditions it's more I lack the memory and experience with them. While some of them, yes, I don't really see a point, others I just don't want to worry. There were so few traditions when I was growing up, that the few I wish to have I have to do myself. My husband is just as unconcerned with traditions as I am. We have traditions, but we leave leeway for our own changes to said traditions as well. Why shouldn't we wish to blaze our own trail in the traditions department?